JUST EXIST

I was once asked how I’d like to be remembered
And I simply smiled and said
“I’d rather stay forever”
It was possibly my loudest cliché
But felt better than just walking away
I don’t know what my legacy will be
A song, some words I wrote, or a kid I’ll never see
All of these things scare me half to death
I’ll suffer the day just hoping for the best
But that’s not to say I don’t think that all of this can change
But that’s not to say I won’t wake up some day
With a lion’s pride that I’m going to be okay
If again I’m asked how I’d like to be remembered
Next time I’ll be better prepared for the answer
But you’ll never know much of the truth
So I’ll just exist, it’s all I can do
So much to consider and too much to grasp
To swallow mortality is enough of a task
And leaving your mark is just too much to ask.
I’ll just bow my head and leave out the back

GRAVITY, METAPHORICALLY

An unstable building that’s been built on shaky ground
And what goes up must come down
So lets build it high and then reinforce
All those little things so this can run its course
I know that without windows you won’t see in
And I know that with the doors closed
I’m shutting everyone out
I’m concrete
Fake debonair
With many stories
And endless stairs
But you came in
Made it your own
When you’re moving on
You’re heading home
Keep all those sentiments at bay
Fire them off when I least expect
At that point in the day
Between stable and a wreck
It was the first time in a long time
That I felt alive
At least I tried
Then my highest hopes were realized
Then it flat-lined
At least I tried
And I woke up scared but it’s alright
Because nothings changed
At least I tried

HARBOR

Call it a learning process
And I've never been that quick
Because I take things as they come
And I respond how I see fit
But it's easy to get distracted
As I've been living life abroad
But I'm starved for your acceptance
And I work for your applause
I'd always envisioned myself as a giver
But as I reflect I've left something to be desired
Not that my heart
Hasn't ever delivered
But that it's never felt
This inspired
To have direction
To feel complete
To embrace affection
To end all the woe is me
But mainly to harbor the love that I have to give
But for tonight let's just stay inside
Well it's far too loud and I just want quiet
And if we die before we wake
I'll blame it on the past mistakes
Without you
I'm not pure
Without you
I'm not clean
But if I'm going down with you
Then you're going down with me
What I'm afraid of
Is what is certain
And what I'm sure of
Is that it's on me
But I'm too tired to be that person
And that person needs to be set free
To harbor the love that I have to give

NONFICTION

Every moment can’t remain
And every life won’t stay the same
With time comes a layer of rust
And our bones will turn to dust
Everyone will fall away
And every season is built on change
With time the paint will peel
And all sense will lose it’s feel
Every cloth will start to fray
And every night will become day
With time a mold will form
And what’s cold can become warm
Every love can’t always stay
And the dead will soon decay
With time we’ll all be gone
But how you’ve lived can live on