~

I’m parting the sea between brightness and me
Before I drown myself
And everyone and everything
I got my hands behind my back
With two fingers overlapped
Because I can never keep my word
And I share with the undeserved
For some cheap acceptance in return
The water will shape the sides
I’ll walk with my head held high
And when it all comes crashing in
It will be worth it
If I’m still breathing
If actions speak louder than words
I’m the most deafening noise you’ve heard
I’ll be that ringing in your ears
That will stick around for years

HOME AWAY FROM HERE

I’m coming to terms that I’m not concerned
With planting my feet but looking onward
I’m growing older but I cant get over
The need of colder skin when I know that home is warmer
It's just that I have this problem
Where I want to be everywhere I’m not
I’m thankful for what I’ve got
A room in a house where my bed may stay
But the feel of another’s sheets help keep my demons away
It’s become clear that what keeps me here
Is the sense of failure and other nightmares
I’ve become jaded and I can’t escape it
The thought of settling when I know it's what I’ve hated
It's just I have this problem
Where I want to be everywhere I’m not
It's just I know myself and I’ll sacrifice everything I’ve got
Though I can’t afford to eat as much as I should be
And my bills won’t pay themselves so I’ll come up with another scheme
This place looks better from a passenger window
Or stared at from above
But when you’re chasing brightness
You lose concern with the damage done
It's not my fault
I’ll try to call
No ties no roots I'm fine

AND I'LL DESERVE JUST THAT

A branch leaves its leaves
The soil is begging please
Don’t make another mess this season
A storm with a six letter name
I’m responsible for this hurricane
A big box if IOU’s rests inside my chest
With my hand holding a letter
Wishing you my very best
I did not sign my name
I’m responsible but won’t take the blame
A northwest climate on the brink of breaking
Thats behind your eyes while my hands are shaking
A revolving door that has no shame
I’m responsible and will not change
This homebody doesn’t need anybody
This body would rather be left alone
This nobody doesn’t deserve anybody
It becomes clearer as it goes

AMENDS

What have I seen other than what the bottom looks like?
Stuck somewhere between the gloom and the light
When you’re working towards building back those broken boards
You sometimes lose your footing
You often find yourself putting off everyone
While finding comfort in other songs
To distract the fact that you’re actually disappearing
I have no excuses that I can offer
Just the hope that your forgiveness will hold back the water
For what its worth
I’m sorry
And at the end I swear I’m trying