…AND NOW IT'S HAPPENING IN MINE

There’s nothing that can shock me anymore
From actions to reactions
I want more
What is it you want to hear?
That I’m doing great, well I’m lying
We’re just a parody of ourselves
And I’m wasting all my time
I’ll go to Morrissey to answer all my questions
Because Ian Curtis has left me hanging
With our intentions at our worst
We give away all our worth
And I am spent

HONEST SLEEP

Sun Down
Sun Up
I speak in sarcasm to relate
To all the things I appreciate
I lie in rhythm to open doors
I follow suit and just want more
My reputation is the same its been
And I don’t care what happens
I’ve read the book so I know the end
I’ve probably said too much
But I’ve never felt more accomplished
I’m losing sleep
I’m losing friends
I’ve got a love hate love
With the city I’m in
I’ll count the hours
Having just one wish
If I’m doing fine
There’s no point to this

CADENCE

I’ve got my own brand of patriotism
It comes with nights of emptiness
Where I show my true colors
The real meaning of independence
I’m hanging this flag as a warning
For you to keep your range
It’ll be better if you keep your distance
It’ll be better if you just keep away
I am marching to the beat of a dead horse

THROWING COPPER

Like staring at a flickering light
You don’t know when it’ll burn out
Or how much time you have let it light up your life
Because when you’re at your darkest
It’s all you have to survive
Like throwing copper in a well
You’ll never know if wishes work
Only time can tell
Put if superstitions can give someone faith
Then I’m throwing my wallet and begging for change

SWIMMING WITH SHARKS

It’s the most important game of chance
Judging judgments with a glance
But a spade’s a spade
So it’s all the same
A different shade with a different name
I’ve got my eye on the Queen of Hearts
But I’m tired of searching through this house of cards
Because I’m playing for keeps
With nothing to lose you can’t lose it all

HISTORY RESHITS ITSELF

Was it for purpose or obligation?
To rip the happiness from those homes
To “ensure your own salvation”
When you’re walking a thin line
Between ignorance and confusion
You won’t know the difference
Between a cycle and a revolution
And I’ve been counting the inches
In that giant step back
When love was on the line
Circled in with blue or black
The history books won’t forget
To tell of this embarrassment
These closets have been closed too long
There’s no more room for skeletons

SUCKERFISH

That sinking feeling when you’re not yourself
Searching for a reason
For some kind of help
But all that comes is empty promises and feeling anxious and useless
Then when I’m my worst
Comes someone who I don’t deserve
I’ll call her destroyer
And I’ll destroy her.
If you never had the chance, sing hallelujah

BROKEN RECORDS

I said I’d never be the same
Possibly for the impact
But possibly for certain
I also said I would never know another you
But fate is making me a liar
I place blame on the golden state
My heart lies in Los Angeles
Maybe it just needs the attention
I think it just needs the attention

NINE

I’ve gotten good at hiding
When I feel like hiding
My mouth is great at running
When I feel like
Now I’m biting the hairs on my arm like I do
When I don’t know where I am or what I should do
I’ve been blessed with these eyes
That come with innocent questions
Like “where I’m from”
Holding expectations
To give obvious answers and tell no lies
But I swear there’s nothing innocent in these eyes
Because I’ve seen dead friends
And I’ve seen murder
And I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t done
But that’s not to say that I’m not afraid
Of long nights dwelling on past mistakes
Because with life moving as fast as it does
I’ll still have stories to fucking tell.

ALWAYS RUNNING, NEVER LOOKING BACK

This may read like an epitaph, a commemorative telling on my behalf.
But before this thing gets dated and printed,
we’re going to need a few more witnesses.
My eyes are weak, so I could never focus
on decisions that have left me hopeless.
I’ve chiseled my initials in the shovel
that I’ve been using to dig my own hole.
Driving faster in the wrong direction,
convincing them this was expected.
I’ve lost my mirrors through the crashes,
so looking back just can’t happen.
Living up to how we feel about ourselves:
one foot in the grave; one foot in our mouths.
When you hear those sirens, just know that they’re for us.
You’ll know who we are by the mark on our sleeve,
in the shape of a heart that never could beat.

ADIEUX

12-31: I counted down the days
’til I could wave goodbye to that early grave
01-01: The weather hasn’t changed
But the story’s over
It’s time to turn the page
I was not born with a strong voice
it’s never been one to boom
But I’ll be damned to go out quiet
if it’s the only thing I’ll lose